Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
