Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
All the doctor said was why
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
