New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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