Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize