is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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