I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
