Say something about gay babies.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
