Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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