dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
