You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
