I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize