Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
