Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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