playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
