Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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