like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
birth control should be required to get into college
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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