the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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