Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
