Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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