no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
