Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Nicole vs. Life
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
