my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
