Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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