i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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