I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
