Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
