Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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