Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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