Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
