In the future we'll all be gay
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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