when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
