She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
