it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
