Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
