so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
