She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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