oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
