Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
