Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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