i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
