strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Enjoy the penises
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
