what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Blood and glitter go together right?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
