so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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