I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize