ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
