i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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