the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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