This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
