can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
