I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
