Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize