If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
