yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
