I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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