I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
