It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
4 words: hood of his car
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
