Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
