I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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